THE MASTERCHEF DEBATE

An alternative viewpoint on the MasterChef auditions has reached my cyber-ears. In response to the previous comment on the auditions, Food Master writes:

Well done for trying but having been there, i am glad to say the best cooks did make it through...and if only you knew what an amazing show it'll be

After hearing these two contradictory accounts, I felt lost in a sea of doubt. So I turned to Google. My investigations into what other people thought of the auditions to see if there was some kind of general consensus led to me to Abstract Gourmet, the blog of Perth foodie Matt, where the, ahem, knives came out:

Cant chop onions
February 10th, 2009

well i have just got home from the “top 50″
What a joke!!!! i feel like ive had 60 hrs of my life stolen for 6 minutes of TV... the first challenge was ... dice onions ... I was proud to have made the 50 till i heard more than 3 people ask “how do you cut an onion”...

Bimmy
February 11th, 2009
I got through to the second day in the Perth auditions. I found it to be unorganised and VERY bad time management ... a little apprehensive to see how they might manipulate the fottage to make you look the fool to boost ratings!

Disappointed Chef
February 13th, 2009

...I recently dropped out of the top 40 and I agree with the comments made by ‘can’t chop onions’. It was all based on personalities ... It’s a Big Brother cooking show...

Not a Big Brother Contender
February 14th, 2009
Am at home now from ... the final ‘20' ... Up every morning before the sun rose to be led into the studios and left standing for hours while the production team studied us behind the cameras waiting for someone to crack and start the tears or to excel in the personality department ...

I can honestly say that anyone in the food industry will be appalled that this show can use the word “Chef” in their title of the show …

Can chop onions, taste sauce but not interesting enough for 'foodie' big brother
February 14th, 2009
... not the smart, food passionate crowd that we all thought MasterChef was about ...
and the ... food on set, I can’t believe that they were not embaressed to serve it to us, and the judges!

LoveTheCoffee
February 15th, 2009
What a load of sour people who didnt get through. You people are perfect for reality TV, your vindictive, sour and bitter ... the judges can see through ---- a mile away and you lot are full of it. Have some integrity with yourselves and honour the confidentiallity agreements you all signed ...

Bimmy
February 15th, 2009
... U must be a dramatic person who likes to get attention. Perfect for reality TV?

Not a Big Brother Contender
February 15th, 2009
I am sorry … but the judges are ... there to judge food ...

Masterchef ...Done
February 15th, 2009
No one is in breach of there agreement ... “Coffee” ... you got through so you want to protect the intefrity of the show!!

Matt
February 16th, 2009
... there is never any excuse for bad spelling, that’s what spell checkers were invented for. So as long as it’s my blog you’re commenting on, make sure you’ve got a dictionary handy.

GORGE OF THE JUNGLE

I like to celebrate birthdays. I think they're a good excuse to be silly, and better still, to eat.

It's not my birthday. I wish it were, because I just feel like being silly. Having a kid does that to you, which is surprising, because I had assumed it would make me more responsible and ho-hum huff-huff. But it's done quite the opposite. I'm silly all day. I lie on the ground singing songs about poo and make up stories that centre around colourful animal toys, which I waggle. There's nothing huff-huff about it. So I'm feeling sillier than ever, and having strange fantasies about throwing annual themed dress-up parties. Taking silly into my own hands on a regular basis.

This birthday belongs to a couple of noteworthy lads, one of whom is the aforementioned classy and discerning Kris Kringle and is a gastronaut if ever I saw one.

The other, a couple of years ago, claimed to have never eaten a banana. He shared with me his secret recipe for the Best Pasta Bake in the World a little while back:



The Best Pasta Bake in the World

1 packet of pasta, cooked
1 bottle of tomato sauce
1 packet of grated cheese
bacon bits

Mix together. Bake in oven until hot.



Seeing as my Cooking Idol is his mother, I would have been very appreciative if someone had swapped us at birth. He would have loved Janice's fish fingers.

I love my friends (and hey, I love processed food as much as Pasta Bake Boy... mmm, cheese in a jar), and I love cooking for friends so I strongly felt The Magnificent Feast II was in order. The boys strongly felt it was too.

I started flipping through my old Good Taste magazines to get inspiration for the theme, thinking along the lines of class, refinement and sophistication... but everything I came across looked like I'd need to spend three days straight and five cooking classes just to make the entree (ok, having a baby running the show changes your perspective just a tad). I decided I needed to just scale back a little. Simplify. Downsize. Which may be viewed as a reflection of my dedication to the birthday boys, but is actually more indicative of my cooking nous (or lack thereof). So I sighed and picked up my bit on the side, Super Food Ideas.

And there it was. The perfect dinner party. It was everything I wanted and more. There were swamp jellies, monkey crackles, safari sausage rolls and to top it all off, a Lion Cake. It was...GORGE OF THE JUNGLE!

Did it really matter if it was, technically, a kid's party? Is it crossing the line of silliness? Could I get my husband to wear a loincloth to the party?...

MATERCHEF UPDATE

I've been given the inside word on the Masterchef auditions:

"After attending the auditions I think it's safe to say that it will be nothing like the UK show...

No cooking skills or food knowledge needed to get through to stage where they begin filming. First round audition was just a personality test...

Quite disappointing for those of us who went to much effort in creating our dishes that no one connected with the show even tasted. And we had to wait 10 hours before our audition even started. It was insulting and humiliating. As childish as this may sound I hope the show is a ratings disaster for Channel 10. As you can tell I'm quite angry."

On hearing this, any optimism I was trying to garner was obliterated...

The personality test thing doesn't surprise me, I mean, it is reality TV, but it's not like all the people on the UK show were bursting with life... gosh, some of them were quite dull, but it didn't matter because it was all about the food. Our version is clearly more about money. Sad. You can't eat money. Well, my little brother did actually eat a 2 cent coin about 20 years ago, but considering it came out whole, I don't think he gained any nourishment from it.