CHEESE TIPS

Our Cheesepedition guidebook gives us a few handy hints and tips about cheese:

Serving cheese:

• 'Always serve cheese at room temperature. Take it out of the fridge at least 4 hours before serving.' Oops. Bad host
  

• 'When putting together a cheeseboard, choose a crisp pear, some muscatels or a slice of candied citron.' But first you have to find a citron. After working out what the hell it is.

Storing cheese:

• 'Cheese must never get wet' (ie. do not wash)

• 'Cheese must not be frozen' (ie. do not freeze)
  

• 'Never store cheese wrapped in cling film. If you buy it packed in this, remove it immediately, dial 000 and wrap it in waxed paper, aluminium foil or in a cloth cheese bag.'

Buying cheese:

• 'When buying packaged cheese, check the use-by date.' If the cheese is past the use-by date, buy it, then take it back to the shop and demand they give you another one for free. If they wont comply, hold up your mobile and say "Seven words; Health-and-Safety-Inspector-on-the-line".

• 'Avoid pre-grated cheese of any kind as it will never be as good as the stuff you grate yourself.' Ignore this advice. Mainland grated mozzarella makes a wonderful snack in your lunchbox or at the movies.